Misc Jokes

[bognor blade]

Johnnys teacher says whoever can answer the following questions can have a half day f , who said ask not what your country can do for you ?
and before johnny could open his mouth nancy shouts out john f kennedy teacher says very good nancy you can go .
teacher asks who said i have a dream and before johnny can open his mouth mary calls out martin luther king , teacher says very good mary off you go ,
just as reacher turns her back johnny says i wish those Crappity Smacking bitches would keep thier mouths shut
teacher turns and says who said that ??


























quick as a flash ,, johnny says Tiger woods , john terry , vernon kaye and ashley cole
see ya tomorrow

[seantheblade]

A few more one liners:



I’m not saying the wife is fat, but I was in the kitchen last night, I heard her fall down the stairs and I thought Eastenders was finishing!



I said to the wife yesterday evening “Do you fancy playing the ‘rape game’ tonight?”

“NO” she said sternly.

“That’s the spirit” I replied.



The wife got a dodgy telephone call last night, the caller said “Have you got a big, hairy, fat, sweaty c*nt?”

She said “Yes, he’s asleep on the settee, do you want to talk to him?”.



The Barnsley WMC went on a mystery tour on Saturday. They ran a sweepstake on where they were going, the coach driver won £68!